The Secret to Successful Decision Making

Remember in the school playground when we used to choose who batted first? You’d take a bat, and the captains would start at the bottom of the bat, grabbing it – first one captain, then the next right above the grip of captain #1 – all the way up until there was no more room left on the bat. The team of the hand at the top of the bat batted first.

Maybe this is a great way to make a trivial decision, but is it the best way to make a life altering one – you know, like “Should I marry Bobbie or should I continue on my career path towards becoming a marine biologist?” or “Wouldn’t that skull tattoo look great on my left shoulder blade?”

Maybe it is a great decision making tool. “Bat-hands” relies a great deal on randomness. Randomness (or synchronicity) is a form of intuition – the source, I believe, of all good decision making.

I remember having a heated debate with one of my managers while I was with Lexmark. We were discussing whether good decision making was based solely on the facts, or does emotion come into it at all. My claim was that EVERY decision has an element of emotion to it, and regardless of how much time you spend in gathering all the facts, it always boils down to the decision you feel best about is the one that is made (and is ultimately the one that is the most successful.)

My view has changed a bit since then. I now believe the power behind a good decision rests in the source of the “feeling good”. What do I mean? Here are some reasons why a decision might “feel good”:

• You’ll avoid a disaster you don’t want to face
• You’ll acquire fame or fortune because of the anticipated outcome
• You’ll see a competitor go down the drain if the strategy works

This “feeling good” really isn’t a good feeling at all. All of these feelings have at their root the fear or fleeing of pain, or the promise of pleasure. All are future based and are in anticipation of the desired results.

The only true “good” feeling you can rely on is where you use both halves of your brain in the present moment: you look at the facts without judgment and as they exist in the present moment. Next, based on the information that is before you and with your mind fixed firmly on your vision or goal, you choose a course based on your intuition – that gut feeling – that says “This decision is the one that will head me in the direction of my chosen outcome.”

Any other method has you making a decision based on your own severely limited conscious mind. By allowing “intuition”, you tap into the great reservoir of the unconscious and allow thoughts and knowledge that otherwise would have been hidden to bubble to the surface.

Therefore, to make a good decision:

1. Gather all the facts you can.
2. Make sure your facts are accurate and are not based on judgment or opinion.
3. Place all the facts in front of you.
4. List all possible decisions you could make by examining the facts in present time.
5. Take a deep breath and list again – let the part of your mind that doesn’t think provide you with a solution you wouldn’t have thought of.
6. Go inside and “feel” each alternative. Does it have fear or pride attached to it at all? If so, throw it out.
7. Go with the choice that brings you the most peace and harms the least.

Batter up!

The wisdom of my cat, Neo

Everything I ever wanted to learn, I can learn from my cats.

This one is Neo.

The picture pretty much captures his attitude toward life – an inquisitive, “Whaz’ up!” sort of approach, game for anything and ready to play.

Beyond Passion – What REALLY motivates?

The discussion about passion on the Employee Engagement Network I belong to got me thinking.

What motivates people to accomplish anything? In my own life, I drove myself to achieve some status as a competitive bodybuilder because it was a way I could focus my energies into a creative and healthy endeavor, rather than destroy myself through drink or drugs due to the incredible pain I was experiencing at the time.

It’s been said that people are moved to action for two (and only two) reasons:

1. The fear of pain
2. The anticipation of pleasure

There are no other reasons. Or, are there?

Right now, my husband Clovice and I are involved in starting a new company. Its focus is to provide sustainable small temporary housing solutions (read: a green FEMA trailer replacement) “Why are we doing this?” I keep asking myself. I mean, “Why are we REALLY doing this? What is the core, the essence, the driving force behind us taking everything we have and are, and plunging it into this venture?”

Of course, I can only answer for myself, so I explored the following possibilities:

Is it because….

1. …It would be a really cool thing to be able to provide disaster relief housing to people in need? Nice, but not really.
2. ….if this thing takes off, we’re going to be fabulously wealthy? I’ve always been happy with enough, so, no.
3. ….if we don’t get this thing a bit higher off the ground, we’re going to crash and burn? No. I’ve been there before in my life and survived.
4. ….of the fame and recognition we’d receive from the success? Both Clovice and I are Myers Briggs “I’s” so it’s highly unlikely.

When I came up with all the reasons I could think of – all which ultimately had a pain or pleasure component associated with them – I honestly could say it is none of these that drive me (and I might even say “Us” at the risk of speaking for Clovice) to do this. It’s hard to put a word or a concept to it because it is beyond pleasure or pain. It is something we just HAVE to do. I can’t find a word to describe it.

It’s probably the same reason Maxx, my nephew, just signed up with the Marines. Ever since he was a kid in diapers, he would turn his stuffed animals into pretend guns because his mom wouldn’t let him have weapons as toys. The military is in his blood. He just HAS to do it.

This “HAVE to do” is beyond passion, beyond emotion, beyond any feeling.

The closest picture I can paint for you is that it’s like doing a jigsaw puzzle. You’ve tried hundreds of piece you swear should have fit in a particular spot, and you even leave one of those pieces in that space for awhile thinking it belongs there. Then, all of a sudden you have a piece in your hand you KNOW is the correct one – you remove the impostor and replace it with the one you are holding. Voilà! Eureka! Alleluia! It exudes rightness, correctness, truth and beauty.

We HAVE to bring our company into the world – Maxx HAS to be a Marine – because the doing in itself creates this deep Knowing of rightness at the depths of our beings. You may have well asked us the question, “Why do you breathe?” The answer is almost the same. There is no emotion attached to it. IT just has to be done.

So, I ask you:

Is there a word we could give to this state, this “IT”? Is IT the ultimate power behind any inspired goal, vision, action, whatever? Do we have to have IT to achieve true success – in the workplace, at home, wherever? If our managers and company executives have IT, would they inspire success from the top down? How can everyone find IT? Can you go your whole life without having IT and still experience real joy and happiness in life and at work?

Hysterectomy – do I or don’t I?

I responded to a request this morning from a journalist asking to hear from women who have had a hysterectomy. I had one, so I thought I’d reply:

I had been an athletic and physically fit person all my life, with the health of a person in their early 20’s.

I tried for 6 years to avoid having a hysterectomy using both alternative and traditional western approaches : stuck with acupuncture needles, ate raw foods, meditated, took drugs, etc.

In 2005, I gave up and had the operation, as I could no longer put up with the lifestyle impositions any more.

It was the best decision I ever made. I’m back to full health and loving it.

Do I wish I had had the operation earlier?

Hell, no! I’m glad I tried all the alternative approaches first just to make sure I wasn’t taking the easy way out. Plus, what I learned about myself (and my mortality) during those six years I wouldn’t trade for anything.

Would I counsel someone to have or not have the operation?

A hysterectomy is a very personal decision each woman has to make on her own. There are many issues that go into making the decision, and some of those are only known to the woman herself. A woman must feel in her heart the rightness of a hysterectomy before she undergoes the procedure, and not let anyone talk her into (or out of) it.

[by the way, visit http://www.hystersisters.com. They were a great source of information, comfort and assistance for me during this period of my life.]